i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
