I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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