hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
