I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
NoShamevember. You game?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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