The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
