I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize