whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
