He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
