Me. At least after what I've been through.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
