oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Randomize
