Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
he just fucked me for my cheese.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize