smell my finger.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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