i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
