I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
