I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
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and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
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You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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