so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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