I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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