Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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