He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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