It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
