Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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