No stitches, just platelets and will power
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
