Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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