omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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