am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
