PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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