worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Randomize
