I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
