i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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