She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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