You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
