we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
