Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
