didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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