We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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