what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i dont even know how to be here
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
