So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I need water and some morals
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
