Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
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