Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I am puke
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
