i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just invented taco cereal.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
