Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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