I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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