I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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