My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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