She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
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Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
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I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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