Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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