he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
