But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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