if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
