I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
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I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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