im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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