Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
