I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize