So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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