I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
His hands were made for my vagina.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
