Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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