Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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