I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I just googled if crying burns calories
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Vodka?
Forever.
It's blow job season.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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