I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
They took my balls.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
