When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I love you.
Bad choice
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