She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
