So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Ketchup is God's man juice
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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