You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
