I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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