Moan for me like Helen Keller
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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